PTSD
by T-oftheSand
Summary: "The diagnostic criteria for the manual's next edition identify the trigger to PTSD as exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury or sexual violation." (DSM-5)
1. Chapter 1

So, this is the first piece I've posted in months, and it's a little longer than what I have written in the past…it's my first multiple-chapter story. I'll be updating it and hope to have it done in a week or so. I want to give a little background information on it before you guys read, because it's a little different than the others I have written.

As a student majoring in mental health social work, the topic of mental conditions and ailments strikes a very powerful chord within me. I have experience with difficulties in the area, and whenever I can I do my best to draw some attention to this and support awareness for it. As an artist I will frequently do pieces illustrating mental health awareness, or something of the like, and I figured that I could attempt to do something similar with my writing.

I chose Posttraumatic Stress Disorder as the primary focus for this piece. As a massive fan of Naruto and someone who is fully aware of the size of the fandom and the attention that fanfiction gets (in all areas, too, not just Naruto), I figured this would be a perfect way to illustrate what PTSD can do to people.

That being said, PTSD is a spectrum disorder and not everyone suffering from it experiences the same symptoms…also, the symptoms in some cases may be worse than (or, on the other hand, not as severe as) others. **The scenario I have written here is fictitious and does not resemble or symbolize an actual case that I have experienced or seen, and it may also be very different from the ways in which others know of PTSD; I just wrote this using my knowledge of the condition.** Also, the happenings that this story illustrates are not canon by any means. As far as we all know, these things are not a part of Temari's canon past. **In addition to this, Naruto is, of course, not mine and neither are the characters.** I don't know if Konoha and Suna actually have social workers, but I guess they must, even though the series didn't involve them…I'm sure that there are other aspects of life in the villages aside from that of the shinobi, right?

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this. It's a different approach than what I've been taking, because it has a different sort of intent this time, I suppose. I hope that this is as informative as it is enjoyable!

Best and with peace,

Alli

* * *

 **1**

Shikamaru hadn't remembered how exactly they had gotten involved in the situations they had been dealing with lately – honestly the entire thing had gotten so messy that it was hard to remember when it had even started. The earliest he could remember that pertained to this was being sent off on what was supposed to be a relatively simple mission, but instead discovering shortly after arriving at the site that the man that they had been sent to relay information to – the head of the small village to which they had traveled – had a previously unknown issue that had been lying dormant underneath the political and financial business that he had been conducting with Konoha and Suna.

This issue – if it could even be reduced to something that simple – involved the severe abuse of his two young daughters, and the sight had been more than enough to make Shikamaru have to step outside to vomit. Luckily (or possibly not…Shikamaru wasn't even sure), they had stepped in at a moment when the man was present, clearly aware of the state of the two girls in front of him.

It didn't take a genius to deduce that the reasoning for this was the man himself was guilty of the disgusting crimes, and naturally the "simple" mission exploded. It was now easily the single most complex situation (Shikamaru was pretty sure that he couldn't even call it a mission anymore, since it had extended far, _far_ beyond that) that Shikamaru had ever been involved in. Not only was the situation itself horrible in an infinite number of ways, it also extended far beyond the definition of political scandal. Considering that the man responsible was the leader of the small area that Konoha and Suna had taken recent interest in, the two hidden villages had suddenly found themselves immersed in a rather difficult situation. The small settlement, so tiny that it was without formal name and was not marked on a typical map, had been discovered to be resting nearly directly upon a fertile deposit of a precious fuel that, when available, is extremely valuable to both of the hidden villages. Naturally, representatives from both Konoha and Suna were sent to the site to inquire quickly, and official trade had begun to occur shortly before the man's actions were discovered.

Now, the two hidden villages were tied into what could mildly be described as a bit of a pickle. The deposit of fuel was so large and generous that it couldn't be ignored – if they succeeded in claiming access to it, they would have use of it for years – but simultaneously, they simply could not continue to barter with that man, and both of them knew it. This was for both moral and political reasons…neither of the village councils wanted to even associate with a child abuser for personal reasons (it was learned very quickly amongst them that it was extremely difficult to not take this situation to heart, despite the general rule of leaving emotions out of politics), and in addition to this they were very much aware that their villages' populations wouldn't support it either.

The situation really _had_ exploded. Civilians from both Suna and Konoha were aware of the happenings (a certain blonde-haired loudmouth/moron from Konoha had let the news slip by accident, and it spread like wildfire), and social services from both villages were on site at the small settlement in addition to representatives from other relevant departments. And now, Shikamaru himself was _also_ tied into what could also mildly be described as a bit of a pickle.

As one of the shinobi who had arrived on scene and first discovered the entire mess, he was a key witness to the case and therefore he couldn't simply leave and go back to carrying out his typical Jonin assignments. He felt as if he and Temari, who had been the other shinobi at the scene with him, had both undergone a swift, sudden, and strange career change.

"Awful, I know, but I'm feeling like I'm being expected to act as some kind of social worker here…" Shikamaru quietly said to Temari as the two sat in the small but bustling waiting room of the tiny village's station. Since the settlement wasn't even officially recognized as a village – it was too small to qualify – the station didn't have a name either. It was simply called "the station" amongst all twenty or so of the settlement's inhabitants. In it, there couldn't have been more than three or four shinobi stationed, their levels chunin at the highest. They must have come from elsewhere, as the settlement hardly supported a general store or even the station that Shikamaru and Temari were sitting in, let alone a ninja academy.

Temari was silent, staring into space. Shikamaru wasn't even sure if she had heard him, or if she had but was simply ignoring him. Regardless, he continued to speak. "I hate to say it, but I'm honestly not even sure of what to do…we're surrounded by licensed social workers from our villages and it's like we're out of place. We've been interviewed eight different times with the same questions, and it feels like we're just going in circles, you know? I mean, as if nothing's getting done…" Honestly, Shikamaru was just babbling, hoping that his talking would get even at least a slight non-verbal response from her, if nothing else. He had started to become concerned about Temari since they had seen those children upon entering the village leader's small residence. She looked paler than usual, her eyes had a glassy and listless look to them, and she just didn't seem to be… _there_. All three of those things were distinctly un-Temari-like, and Shikamaru was beginning to become disturbed.

She wasn't sleeping, either, and he knew. Not only would she appear to be more and more exhausted with each new morning, but he heard her tossing and turning and getting up repeatedly throughout the nights they spent in the tiny inn that they had been invited to stay in, even though they stayed in separate rooms (to his slight surprise [and, as embarrassed as he was by it, disappointment], she had insisted on staying alone). It wasn't extravagant, but it was significantly more comfortable than sleeping on the ground, as they regularly did while on missions. It wouldn't have made sense to think that the inn was what was making Temari…like that.

Honestly, he couldn't think of how to describe it. It was just…strange. It had been roughly a week and a half since they had discovered the children…Shikamaru had been terribly shaken by the event for the first two days following it, but had recovered from the shock. Over a week had passed since Shikamaru – who was even personally very aware of his being much more sensitive than Temari – had returned to a relatively normal level of function, but yet Temari was still clearly disturbed.

It didn't make sense. Shikamaru knew that as far as emotions went, he had difficulty controlling them. He wore his heart on his sleeve. Temari, on the other hand… No. And also, Temari had seen things far, far worse than what they had encountered within the past couple of weeks…hadn't she?

Shikamaru shook his head, not without glancing to his left to see if she reacted (because normally, she would).

…Nothing.

It was starting to become very obvious to him that something was wrong. He wasn't sure what this _something_ was, but whatever it was, _it was wrong_. And, it was strong enough to be able to warp _Temari_ out of shape.

Shikamaru concluded then, after thinking a bit more, that there was something bigger than both of them at play, and that it wasn't going to end just with social services interventions and political strategies.


	2. Chapter 2

This is the second chapter. I don't know when I intend to have the third up - probably tomorrow.

* * *

 **2**

It was as if she was drowning. Not by water, but by sand.

She was feeling like something grainy and slippery had made its way into her chest, and that it would only slide farther and farther down inside her each time she tried to gasp for another breath.

 _Please, father, don't…please…_

 _I don't understand…why are you…? Hic…_

Her eyes flew open. The area was closing in around her, and she could feel the walls collapsing. The room spun, and she staggered. She tried to decipher whether or not she was even fully conscious and if what she was feeling was even real. _Am I dreaming?_ Her vision blurred, and then tried to focus, but failed. She continued to live in a sea of spinning blurs and colors.

Her mind was looking for something, but not in the way that it did normally. This wasn't like trying to fish for information while on a mission, or attempting to extract knowledge from someone while interviewing them. It wasn't like trying to solve the political issues she had been faced with, either. And this time, she wasn't even actively trying to locate whatever it was. It was as if her subconscious was acting entirely without her, and that it was doing enough that she was beginning to actually see what it was doing.

No…in all of her twenty-three years of life, she hadn't experienced this. She was being plagued by these strange dreams, and visions that she couldn't explain. The only thing that she knew was that these visions were familiar, but not familiar enough to be able to claim them as hers. And yet, she couldn't seem to decipher what was going on. There was some sort of mental block preventing her, but she couldn't understand.

She returned with a start when she had her senses knocked back into her. She was awestruck to see that she had fallen, and that her head had hit the ground hard. Baffled and disappointed to realize that she hadn't even noticed herself begin to fall, and that she hadn't even remembering being on her feet in the first place, she slowly sat herself up. The sort of dizziness and unbalance she had been feeling was no longer present, but she still found herself having difficulty organizing her thoughts.

 _What is this…? What the hell is happening to me…?_

She groaned, and felt the blinding pain of a headache once again.

 _Father, what...no…please…_

 _What is it…what's happened…?_

Her eyes opened again – or they didn't, she couldn't tell…had she even shut them? – and she staggered again. She grasped at the headboard of the inn bed that was one of only two pieces of furniture in the tiny room, which she occupied alone. She had insisted on staying in a separate room from Shikamaru for reasons that she wasn't entirely sure of, but now she had to admit to herself that she was beginning to regret the decision.

One thing Temari had always known about herself was that she was extremely self-aware, and whatever was going on right now at least hadn't seemed to change that (she was lucky for that, very lucky indeed). She knew something was wrong. Ever since she had seen that terrible sight upon walking into that _scumbag's_ home, she had begun to experience this…phenomenon. Slowly but surely, whatever was happening to her had worsened, and now, nearly two weeks later, it was becoming unbearable.

However, she couldn't decide if it was worse than knowing that people were beginning to notice that this was actually starting to directly affect her. After all, Temari was still a very proud and private person, and she preferred it when she was able to choose who saw into her personal hardships and when. Shikamaru in particular had definitely noticed, and she knew it. The idiot, as she liked to call him (more out of habit now than anything else), was actually not an idiot at all, and she knew that too. Frankly, he was without question the most intelligent person she had ever known, or even met. The only individual she had been exposed to, albeit for a short time, that could surpass or hold a candle to him at all was his own father. And as just mentioned, she was but only exposed to him, and not for long.

However, she also knew that Shikamaru's noticing this problem (whatever it was) wasn't entirely because of his intellect. She had become incredibly close with him over the past several years, and at first she hadn't liked it at all (even now she sometimes had trouble admitting that she had). However, she had already known of her feelings for him even for years before that. She was _not_ stupid by any means – she wasn't as intelligent as he was, but her own IQ still exceeded 160. She couldn't keep up with him for long, but she as well was a genius nonetheless. She understood _exactly_ what it was that she was feeling, and no matter what she had tried she couldn't ignore the overwhelming flush of joy that overcame her when he had invited her on their first date the previous year.

Remembering that day, she broke into a smile for the first time since arriving at the settlement. Yes, insisting on rooming by herself was a mistake… She knew that right now, whether she liked to admit it or not, she was having trouble getting through this by herself, and never in her life had she known someone that could make her feel like he did. Not even Kankuro, her Irish twin brother (being only nine months apart had its difficulties, but more often than not it offered more benefits than anything else and those included having a built-in best friend on some missions as well as at home) gave her the sense of that kind of security… She knew then that she definitely should have taken full advantage of the closeness she had attained with him, whether she had trouble accepting this closeness or not.

The smile ran away and a tear slid down her cheek as she realized how much whatever this was had succeeded in estranging her from everything she knew…including him. She wasn't even sure if she knew _herself_ anymore. When she was completely honest with herself, she knew that whatever these dreams and visions were, they had to have been connected to her past experiences somehow, whether she consciously remembered them or not. It was obvious. How else was she seeing them from the first person?

An overwhelming sense of nausea came flooding over her at this thought, and she just barely stumbled over to the bathroom in time to empty her stomach, despite it having been nearly empty anyway. She looked at the clock on the wall and groaned inwardly when she saw that it wasn't even 5am yet. Racking her brain to try to remember if she even slept, she made her way back to the main part of the small room and collapsed into a lump on the bed. Trying desperately not to shut her eyes (whenever she did she was plagued with yet another vision of her father looming over her), she laid there and trembled, hoping that for some reason someone would make their way into the room and find her. She dismissed the logic of it, knowing that even though it was incredibly unlikely that anyone would come in, she was thriving on the hope she had of it happening.

She had considered talking to Sakura (she had become quite good friends with her, although she hadn't expected it, and having that kind of access to a medic-nin could definitely do her good right now), but she had decided that it was best to try to sort this out on her own at first. While she knew she shouldn't, she ignored remembering that one week and a half ago she decided that she would talk to someone if one week passed without this lessening.

It was four days past one week at this point.

…Or five.

She knew full well that she probably should, as her condition hadn't lessened at all. In fact it was quite the contrary; it had worsened considerably. She couldn't remember the last time she slept, nor could she remember the last time an hour passed without her experiencing a vision. The only reason she had eaten yesterday was Shikamaru had nearly forced a food pill down her throat, and prior to that she wasn't sure of the last time she ate.

She groaned and covered her head with her arm. Whatever this was, it was robbing her of her sense of reality. Not only was she not in touch with what was going on around her because of what was happening (she couldn't even be sure of what day it was), she also didn't know if these visions could even be considered real. She had trouble believing that what she was seeing hadn't actually occurred…at this point she was nearly certain that these visions weren't actually visions, but memories, but she couldn't know for sure. After all, it was also possible that for some reason the sight of those poor girls had triggered some sort of response within her that involved hallucinations.

…Or memories.

However, if they actually were memories, it implied something terrible that she really didn't want to face. Before she could allow herself to even fully think of it, she shut her eyes and was immersed in yet another horrible dream.


	3. Chapter 3

I've really got this rolling now, I think. I believe that I have it going in a good direction and I have a good idea of how the rest of it is going to go, too...that means that it will probably be completed pretty soon.

 **3**

* * *

Shikamaru was really beginning to panic.

He looked at the clock on the wall, and then pulled his cell phone out of his vest pocket and checked the time on its screen to make sure (at first he hadn't really been too keen on the idea of carrying such a thing, but this new technology had definitely proved itself to be useful). It was indeed quarter to nine, fifteen minutes prior to the ninth interview that he and Temari were scheduled for.

And Temari was still nowhere to be found. _He_ had been sitting there, completely _prepared_ , for fifteen minutes already, and he was concerned even then when she wasn't there.

 _This is completely backwards…_

If he hadn't been so concerned, the situation might have been funny. Normally he would have been over the moon, as it meant that he would have finally had a chance to return one of the many ass-bustings she had given him over the years for being late. At that time it was, as nearly everyone knew, not too uncommon for him to show up a few minutes late to meetings. He was nowhere near as bad as Kakashi-sensei, but he was bad enough for Temari to give him a hard time. A couple of years ago she and Choji had planned a surprise party for his eighteenth birthday, and they both had decided that it would have been best to tell him to meet them at his house at 1:30, because it meant that he would show up roughly on time for the party at 2.

He smiled for a moment when he thought back to that day. He didn't show it, but it had been one of the most memorable occasions of his memory. He didn't show this either, but Choji and Temari were most definitely the most important people in his life, so it would have been an understatement to say that both of them planning him a secret party was one of the more touching things he had ever had anyone do for him.

He shook himself back to reality and looked at his phone's display again. 8:51 AM. Nine minutes.

He had remembered one of the social workers telling him after the eighth interview that the following session would be incredibly important, because the people investigating the physical scene had since collected the evidence necessary and had taken photographs, and it would be time for him and Temari to give their statements. Thinking of this, his heart rate quickened. _Where the hell is she?_ He watched the door apprehensively, praying over and over that she would come in. This definitely wasn't like her…something this important would never have taken a backseat in Temari's mind... _never_. He was completely sure of that, and with these thoughts his concern deepened.

8:53 AM. Upon seeing an additional two minutes shaved off the clock, he rose and made his way towards the door. At this rate he could no longer risk it – he had to go check on her. This only confirmed his thoughts yesterday. Something bigger was at play here, and his concern was only growing deeper. Even while setting the case aside, he was incredibly worried. One of his favorite people on the entire planet clearly had something going on, and he was determined to find out what it was for her sake.

He racked his brain to think of what possibly could be keeping her as he made his way across the street to the inn, and for once genius Shikamaru couldn't think of a single thing. This was so beyond out-of-character for Temari that he didn't even know where to begin trying to figure it out. At this rate, it could have been anything and he wouldn't have been surprised.

Or so he thought.

He knocked on the door – loudly – several times, and after her not answering any of them he had to swallow an ounce of panic as he decided to break the door down (he figured he'd reimburse the settlement after their business was concluded). He froze upon seeing the state of the destroyed room, and a messy-looking Temari curled up in a ball in the inn bed. He couldn't tell if she was asleep or knocked out, so he rushed to the bedside immediately and shook her gently.

He regretted it immediately, because she panicked. She launched herself out of the bed and landed on the other side (if the situation hadn't been what it was, Shikamaru would have been amused) and was on the floor curled up in the corner in less than a couple of seconds after leaving the blankets. Dumbfounded, concerned, and incredibly confused, he put his hands up slowly and carefully made his way over to her. He took note of how her eyes were as wide as saucers, how she was breathing faster than he would have ever thought possible, and especially how she was continuing to try to back up farther as he came toward her.

Yeah. Her being late was _definitely_ not funny.

Her breathing still quickened even more and she began to hyperventilate as he came closer, and she even brought her hands up to cover her head. He halted when he was about a half yard away and knelt down slowly, reaching out to put his hand on her shoulder. She was trembling now, and something constricted painfully in his chest when he realized that she was actually scared of him, for whatever reason.

"Hey," he whispered, squeezing her gently. "It's me…relax." He tried to speak in the softest voice possible, but he felt extremely awkward. He wasn't exactly the greatest at comforting people to begin with, and this situation was so beyond strange (Temari _never_ showed fear) that it made his already existing incompetence worse. He felt relief wash over him as her breathing began to slow at the sound of his voice, and as she lowered her hands and opened her eyes.

Her facial expression changed rapidly from fear to confusion to embarrassment in less than three seconds. His confusion reached an ultimate peak as tears filled her eyes. He knew then that something was _definitely_ wrong and that it was impossible for it not to be, because one of the strongest women he had ever known began to cry. He didn't even think as he helped her rise to her feet and lifted her, carrying her over to the bed. He set her down and grasped her hands tightly, completely unsure of what to do.

"Tell me," he said gently as he reached down to brush some of the tears of her face and tried (unsuccessfully) to ignore her uncontrollable sobs. "What's happened? You've been out of sorts for nearly two weeks…" The only thing he could make out of her hysterical half sob/half speech was something along the lines of "Last night was the first night that I didn't have those dreams the whole time".

He looked at his phone again just as it began to ring. 9:15 AM.


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

* * *

He let the phone ring for about ten seconds in order to give himself a little more time to try to calm Temari down. She had finally managed to sit up, but she was leaning against him while shaking uncontrollably. Embarrassment ran rampant through her as he cradled her head gently with one hand and answered the phone with the other. Before he could begin speaking to the social worker waiting for them at the station (both knew that that was exactly who it was), she tugged his sleeve and told him quietly that she was going to be getting ready in the bathroom.

She left the room immediately to get herself cleaned up, and made sure to get to the bathroom as quickly as possible. This was partially because she knew she had to get ready and partially because she didn't want to hear what Shikamaru was saying to the social worker on the other line.

 _I'm bullshit_ , she thought to herself as she looked at her pitiful-looking reflection in the mirror. _Complete bullshit. How the fuck could I have allowed myself to oversleep?_ Granted, as guilty as she felt about it, she was almost grateful. What she had said to Shikamaru was true. That was the first bout of sleep that she had experienced in nearly two weeks during which she hadn't had terrible nightmares for the entire duration. Short as it may have been, it was at least a couple of hours' worth of peace, and this was still good even though she did have a short nightmare prior to them ceasing for the rest of the time.

She froze as she realized what she had just thought about. _What she had said to Shikamaru_ was true.

She said it.

To Shikamaru.

Which meant he definitely knew about the nightmares.

 _Fuck._

She leapt and splashed water from the faucet everywhere as Shikamaru's reflection appeared in the mirror beside hers about thirty seconds later. Her instant reaction was to look down and away from him, and she did it immediately as to avoid seeing the look of disappointment and anger that she was sure was on his face. However, she didn't get away with it for long. She felt his hands on her waist as he gently turned her to face him, and she clenched her eyes shut and swallowed in the anticipation of him ripping her a new one for still being in bed and missing that interview. But to her surprise, she felt herself being pulled forward into a gentle but warm hug, which she initially responded to by stiffening and trying to pull away. This really didn't work too well, because he only held her tighter and pushed her head into his shoulder, making it impossible for her to move. He did it with little to no effort, as if the strength she had used to try to get away from him amounted to nothing greater than a pet rabbit's. _Damn him,_ she thought as she remembered that there in fact _was_ a time that she was taller and stronger than him. _I should've enjoyed that while it lasted._

"Troublesome woman," he murmured, putting another escape attempt to a stop. "Even when in a state like this you're too proud to let me even hug you for a minute?" In response, she shuddered, not without inhaling his scent, something like musk and pine. "You need this, and it's obvious," he continued, ignoring another string of fruitless attempts to wriggle free that followed suit. "Just relax and take it for once."

Temari gave up after that, and they were both silent for about fifteen seconds before Temari spoke. "The social worker…It was her that called, was it not?" Shikamaru tightened his hold on her but ran his hand through her hair gently. "Yeah," he said. "But I couldn't believe our luck. She didn't call asking where we were…she called apologizing saying that she couldn't get to us until 9:45. So, woman, you have time to get yourself put together. We actually aren't late…we definitely made out well on that one." Temari exhaled. Being late was one of the things that she hated more than anything else. She could never understand how Shikamaru had been okay with being even five minutes late to a meeting, and she'd made that clear to him many times.

After another minute Shikamaru finally loosened his hold on her and let her go, and told her that he'd be out waiting in the main room straightening things back up while she finished getting herself ready. As she shut the door he made his way over to the bed to fix it (she had dislodged the headboard while leaping out of the bed) and slightly regretted lying to her. The social worker had in fact called asking where they were, but she had been willing to see them at 9:45 (he kept focused on this part – what he said wasn't _entirely_ untrue) after Shikamaru explained to her in detail what he had seen upon entering the room as well as how Temari had been behaving for the past week and a half. His stomach flopped slightly with unease when he recalled the concern he had heard in the social worker's voice when she said that she was definitely going to have to take a closer look at Temari herself.


	5. Chapter 5

**5**

* * *

It had taken Temari no more than ten minutes to prepare herself to leave for the interview at the station. While they walked across the street together she couldn't help but wonder to herself why Shikamaru wasn't angry with her. In fact, he hadn't been even the slightest bit annoyed, and it confused her beyond belief. They both knew full well that if it was he who had overslept and she who went to fetch him, he probably never would have lived to even wake up at all. For some reason, she decided not to ask him why he wasn't angry, or, more relevantly, why he didn't take the opportunity to make fun of her for finally being the one that overslept.

Hell, she had been expecting that she would never hear the end of this. But yet, nothing as much as a "we're even" came out of his mouth.

By the time they got to the station she had concluded that it probably had to do with the fact that he recognized that something was wrong with her. Upon realizing this, she almost wished that he _had_ been angry, because she really, _really_ didn't want to talk about this. It was difficult enough as it was, and she was not fond of the idea of making it worse by dragging it farther out of her and inspecting it.

After all, she was surrounded by counselors and social workers. If they figured something wasn't right, she would become a case of her own and that was the last thing that she wanted.

Yes…this would blow over in another week. She just wasn't giving it enough time.

She went and sat down beside Shikamaru upon entering the station. He glanced her way as she jumped when the door opened, and he reached up and grabbed her hand gently as she began twisting her hair around her finger in anxiety. The nervousness was bubbling up and out of her chest, and her leg jiggled as Shikamaru gently massaged her palm in his hand. She shut her eyes and focused on the pressure he continued to apply to her hand, all the while trying her hardest to keep the visions at bay.

She snapped back to reality when Shikamaru touched her shoulder gently and told her he'd be right back out. The social worker that had been working with he and Temari was standing near them, and before Temari could ask why he was going in with her alone, she told her that someone would be right out in a couple of minutes to bring her in to join them. A bout of panic rose in her chest as she began to wonder what could possibly have to be done without her there…after all, she had arrived at the scene at the same time Shikamaru did. She didn't understand why she had to sit out in the waiting room while he spoke to the social worker alone.

Convincing herself that it must be protocol that people give their statements separately, she pushed it out of her mind. She busied herself with counting the stitches on the leg of her pants, tracing them with her finger. While checking her cell phone every few minutes, she eventually began to wonder what was keeping the social worker and Shikamaru for so long. _Protocol…yes,_ she thought to herself. _Protocol._

Another ten minutes or so passed before she looked up at the door that Shikamaru and the social worker had disappeared behind. Several moments later, she was shocked as Baki, her sensei and primary caretaker from her genin days, stepped out from behind it. Shocked and confused by his presence, but also by the oddly serious look on his face (serious even for Baki), she began to ask him what he was doing here. _No…he can't be the person the social worker was talking about…_ She figured it must have concerned the remaining political aspects of the situation – it had to have been why, since they still did need someone to carry out the rest of the mission now that she was tied up with the abuse case. She was satisfied with her theory until he slowly strode over to her and bent down to put his hand on top of her head. She was baffled and completely disturbed to see that the normally stoic man had tears rolling down his cheeks.

At that moment, Shikamaru and the social worker came walking out after him. Baki made his way back over to the social worker and shook her hand after nodding slowly to Shikamaru. "I hoped…I _prayed_ …with everything I had that this would never happen…I never thought that it would surface. She's 23…I thought we were clear." The social worker only nodded slowly and turned her attention to Temari, who was now somewhat angry. Never in her life had she seen Baki this emotional, and the fact that everything that had happened within the last half hour was being kept out of her line of sight was now beginning to irritate her. "Do you mind telling me what the _hell_ is going on here?" Her voice was venomous, and her hands were trembling. She couldn't tell if it was because of nerves, rage, or fear. At this point she was feeling all three equally.

The social worker stepped aside and opened the door. "Come in, hon," she said softly. The serious look on her face made Temari's stomach sink. Shikamaru made his way over to her and offered her his hand to help her up. She rolled her eyes (she was _really_ in a mood now) before ignoring it and rising abruptly, walking quickly into the back room where the interviews had been conducted.

She froze as she looked at the file that laid on the table. Instead of the familiar newer file that listed the names of the two abused girls, there was an old, tattered one in its place. She moved towards it slowly, grimacing as she smelled it – it reeked, as if it had been kept in the back of an old closet for decades (Kankuro's bedroom closet, always overflowed with dirty laundry, immediately came to mind). However, even worse than the smell was the fact that her name was written on it, in old faded graphite.


	6. Chapter 6

**6**

* * *

Shikamaru's head was spinning as he processed everything he had just heard.

He had been taken into the back interviewing room by the social worker shortly after he and Temari arrived at the station. Honestly, he hadn't been expecting the social worker (named Aiko) to pull him aside to talk about it so soon (much less when Temari was present). He knew Temari well, and he knew that she was incredibly smart – he knew full well that she was going to at least have an idea that something was going on. Aiko had assured him that this was what needed to be done, because Temari's "condition" was becoming serious. After this he felt better, but not without a tinge of residual guilt from lying to her in the first place.

He came to further understand Aiko's timeliness after he entered the interviewing room and was met by Baki. Temari had talked about him, but Shikamaru had never officially met him. The one time Shikamaru had ever seen him was years ago, but he was still able to recognize him as the man that led Temari and her brothers when they were genin. He had been their squad leader during the first chunin exams, back when they had first met Shikamaru.

Baki went on to explain to him that his presence had not been requested there by Aiko at all; he was there by personal choice after having traveled there immediately upon hearing of the fate of the two girls. At first, Shikamaru was confused, although he was able to understand then that it was actually Baki who had requested the meeting, and not Aiko. Baki was a hard, cold political leader from Sunagakure with no children of his own. His showing up to a tiny settlement far off from Sunagakure for no reason other than the fates of two small children didn't seem to make much sense. After all, the man had an entire village to keep up with…

"Sir, it is my pleasure, but I'm not sure that I understand…were you affiliated with the two girls in some way? If you were, I could understand your coming here, but…" At this, Baki shut his eyes and swallowed. "No…I am not here because of this settlement's children. I am here because of Temari."

Again, Shikamaru was confused. How Baki had known to come here immediately – specifically for Temari – without knowing of anything else aside from the situation involving the girls was beyond him, until he turned to face Aiko.

She was holding a psychological manual in hand, titled _Posttraumatic Stress Disorder._

Shikamaru froze, and then he put it together and it hit him. Hard.

Suddenly it made sense and he knew why Baki had come.

The dreams she had spoken of that morning...the hypervigilance...the detachedness.

"No…" he said quietly. It was all he could muster.

"No…no. Absolutely not…" Baki sat down and shut his eyes again. He ran his hand over his face and sighed heavily. Shikamaru's hands were shaking as he realized what the situation was. Baki had rushed to the settlement immediately upon hearing of the situation that was being dealt with, because he knew that Temari was there, being exposed to it. He had correctly predicted that Temari's exposure to the girls' abusive situation would cause memories of her own past to surface.

Even with all the emotions whirling wildly in his head, Shikamaru couldn't help but wonder how it was possible that he had never even heard a thing about what had happened to his partner. After all, Temari was in fact his "partner" in both senses of the word. They had been working together for years at this point, but he was also completely confident that he had found his life companion over the course of said years. And, due to Temari's outspoken and blunt nature, he knew that they were on the same page. Even if she hadn't told him verbally, though, he still would have known; Shikamaru knew things about her that even most of the people close to her did not, and it was because she had willingly and openly _told_ him these things. It was when she started disclosing this kind of sensitive information to him that he knew that things between them had reached the "serious" mark. Temari, the most outspoken and honest person he knew, was also the most private. She didn't become close with just anyone, and she had chosen him to be the keeper of her secrets and to share even the most intimate aspects of her life with.

He took comfort in knowing that it wasn't because she was hiding it from him. Common sense told him that it wasn't likely. Some of the things she had told him were beyond the classification of secretive and private (even by "normal" standards, which are about a thousand times less restrictive than Temari's standards), and he knew just by how Temari was with people that her disclosing those things to him proved that this being in the dark wasn't due to a matter of trust. He figured that whatever happened to her had to have occurred when she was small, and this was confirmed when Baki spoke. "I thought we were in the clear with this…she was so small when it happened that I had figured that she wouldn't remember it. However, I'd been fully aware the whole time that it was always going to be possible that the memories would surface somehow. I can't even describe the kind of dread I felt when I heard of what had happened here…that girl is like my own daughter…

"I hated – _hated_ – to have had to keep the investigation completely underground…I found myself in one of the most difficult positions I had ever been in. If the investigation was done publicly, the village and its government would have been destroyed…the things that could have happened would have been unspeakable…" Shikamaru knew at this moment that the person that had put Temari through the abuse was her father. He was the fourth kazekage, a man of extreme power and influence over the hidden sand as well as the rest of the shinobi world.

The very thought of such terrible hypocrisy sickened Shikamaru to the point of nausea.

Baki continued. "I decided to have her condition inspected privately after realizing the great risk a public investigation would have brought to the village as a whole. Sunagakure was experiencing many types of difficulties at the time…nothing would have been worse than the shock of knowing that our kazekage was…" Baki's voice trailed away and a tear fell from his eye.

"Believe me," he said hoarsely, "if Temari's father had been _anyone_ aside from the most powerful man in our village, and one of the most influential alive, I would have had him _knocked down_. He would have lost everything he had after that…but if that had happened to Rasa, it wouldn't have only been him that lost everything…it would have been our village as well. And Temari had already dealt with enough… The last thing I wanted to do for that girl was leave her a ruined home in addition to a ruined childhood.

"Like I said…she was like my daughter. To this day I still see her the same way. I decided that I would make an excuse to have her and Kankuro moved from their father's care and into mine… I used a political excuse, saying that in the village's state of unrest it wasn't a good idea to have small children distracting the kazekage from his daily duties. Gaara was but an infant at the time and was being cared for by another family member as it was, so luckily it was relatively easy to have her and Kankuro moved as well. Naturally, Rasa did not care much…he was incredibly cold, and even if he had not been abusing his daughter it would not have been a good home for them to begin with. After the move and the secret investigation had been completed, I collected the file that is on the table right now and hid it…the sole reason for keeping it was in case anything like this came up. …In case she ever remembered. Keeping it at all was of huge risk, but I could not simply dispose of it…after all, she is going to need to see it. There is no way of getting around that now…"

Shikamaru realized then that he had tears in his eyes. He had an incredible amount of newfound respect for Baki. The amount of personal and political risk that he had taken to protect Temari showed far more love and care than her biological father had ever shown her. Shikamaru knew then that he was wrong when he had said that Baki had no children of his own.

Shikamaru cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. "So, does anyone…know?" "No," Baki told him. "I was the sole person to arrange the investigation. The move was known of, but no one was aware of why it genuinely happened. The woman that I hired to examine Temari passed away years ago, so I was the only person to know of the situation until right now. It is beyond guaranteed that that file was never seen…in fact, it had been buried in a capsule beneath the village for nearly twenty years until just a few days ago."

Shikamaru then turned his attention to the file. It certainly looked like it had been buried for twenty years. "It was sealed with a jutsu that wouldn't have allowed it to be opened if it ever actually was discovered," Baki said, walking over to it and touching its cover. "Luckily, the jutsu hadn't been necessary. It hadn't been found at all…but I could not take such a chance."

Shikamaru could only stand quietly, his eyes not leaving the beaten up manila folder on the table. After several seconds of tense and somber silence, Aiko stepped in, clearly seeing her opportunity to speak. "I know this is likely a lot to ask of you, Shikamaru…but you are going to need to view the file." Shikamaru whipped around and turned towards her immediately, alarmed. "I'm…I'm not sure if I can do that…I mean, I am not even sure if that would be appropriate…" he felt ridiculous as he stammered, but the request had genuinely appalled him. The truth was that despite Shikamaru's incredible closeness with Temari he was nowhere _near_ comfortable with the idea of viewing something as personal as this was. In his opinion, listening to her spill secrets to him _herself_ , by _choice_ , was one thing, but viewing a literally underground, long-since-hidden file concerning a traumatic event that _she_ didn't even know existed seemed to be something else entirely…

Frankly, to Shikamaru, it seemed like betrayal.

Aiko was right. It _was_ a lot to ask of him…possibly too much.

She seemed to read his mind. "There is a genuine reason why this needs to be done, Shikamaru," she told him softly. "I understand your concerns and discomfort fully, but there is a very strong possibility that Temari is suffering from a legitimate psychological ailment. Her symptoms are far too severe to ignore at this point. After she is evaluated by the psychologist that has been stationed here since the incident with the girls, it will have to be disclosed. As such…" Shikamaru understood where she was going with this. She continued. "As partners you need to be aware of things such as this, is that correct?" Shikamaru nodded. That had been made very clear in the academy when he was a child. _There are no major happenings or conditions that can be kept from teammates or partners. Knowledge of these sorts of things allow for your comrades to cover and/or support the shortcomings that often result from them._

"A diagnosis such as this one is, in many ways, no different than that of diabetes or hypertension. It's a medical condition, and there are treatments and therapies that are designed to help remedy it. Likewise, it is treated with equal weight as far as disclosures and protocol go." Shikamaru closed his eyes. However, he was still determined to not view this before Temari did. "Is there any way that the two of us can view it at the same time?" She shook her head and looked back at him. "I'm sorry. One of the reasons why you are viewing it alone – and before she does – is because we want to make sure that you experience all initial reactions before she's in the room with you. You're going to need to ride out some of the more emotional responses prior to her viewing the file so the experience isn't as difficult for her," she explained. Shikamaru nodded. He understood that fully. "Does that make sense?" "Yeah," he said. "If that will make it easier for her when the time comes for her to see whatever is inside that, then okay." At this he took a breath and reached to open the file.

At that point, Shikamaru had thought that he had prepared himself for what he was about to see, but he discovered quickly that he had been sorely mistaken. Tears rolled freely down his cheeks as he looked at the purple bruising that appeared in next to every photo, while silently being grateful that the examiner had made it a point to not photograph in a way that would make it easy to identify the child at hand as Temari. His hands shook violently as he read the descriptions of what the examiner had concluded. He stopped after reading that she had been choked with a chain multiple times over the week or so prior to the evaluation, which was dated November 19th, 1994.

Temari had been three years old at the time.

At this, Shikamaru vomited, much like he did upon seeing what had happened to the settlement leader's two girls. Only this time he hadn't been able to hold it until he could step outside.


	7. Chapter 7

**7**

* * *

Temari was certain that she had never cried so much in her entire life after entering that interviewing room.

At least, as far as she knew. After viewing the estranged file in her name, she wasn't sure if she had even known anything about herself at all. "Certainty" no longer had a place in her life as far as she was concerned.

She was completely hysterical. It took Baki and Shikamaru's combined efforts to keep her from literally going off the walls. Numbness and tingling controlled her entire body as she hyperventilated, and white spots appeared in her vision as the world spun. She suffered anxiety attack after anxiety attack, once again being visited by the sensation of drowning in sand. She wasn't sure how long exactly it took to calm her down after the initial shock, but she had felt like she had been through two more world wars and seen ten centuries. The initial sight of the photographs alone had brought a flood of visions (well…memories, since she could now call them such with accuracy) more vicious and lifelike than ever before upon her, and it had taken some extreme measures in order for her to realize that the man standing in the corner was not her father, but Baki. She was exhausted no later than five minutes after entering the room.

She asked Baki, Shikamaru and Aiko to explain to her the circumstances of her father's actions several times. The first two (or three, she couldn't remember) times they had explained it, she had barely retained a word. She had never felt her mind move so fast in all her life, but it didn't take her long to decide that she did not like it. It was exhausting, draining beyond any explanation. Listening to what they were telling her was far more difficult than it should have been, in her opinion, and it frustrated her that every time she heard them speak to her she had the heavy urge to cry.

Again.

She wasn't sure how many times that she broke down while in the interviewing room. Eventually, it reached a point where she became so antsy and jittery that Shikamaru lifted her and held her against him in his lap, and she was silently grateful for this (she decided at that point that she no longer missed being taller and stronger than him as she gradually leaned into him, exhausted from the effort of trying to break away at first). He was the one person in the room that she trusted completely, and seeing him confirming it in front of her was what set the hook. When it set in, she cried – cried hysterically into his shoulder for what was probably an hour as he did nothing but sit and hold her and let her release the many years' worth of compressed emotions.

First she experienced denial, followed by rage, and then finally uncontrollable sadness. Eventually, however, the evidence was just too much to allow her to continue arguing it logically. Despite her knowing that she had suspected this ever since the memories became clearer, it was different – very different – upon being faced with the legitimate proof. It was no longer a question, but an answer, and it was set in stone now; this was not what she had had in mind when she envisioned her experiences permanently explained.

She had wanted so badly to simply have a casual conversation about it with Sakura, who would have ideally told her that what she was experiencing was a completely normal reaction to seeing something as disturbing as an abuse case. Instead it turned out to be the worst case scenario that she had been hoping, _praying_ , wasn't the case. This was anything but casual.

Following this, she vomited, even though there was nothing in her stomach to really throw back up.

She had never felt sicker, sadder, or more betrayed in her entire life.

This time, though, the betrayal wasn't by an enemy, or even a friend; it was by her own memory, something she hadn't thought of as possible. She wished sincerely that she still thought so, because she was sure that it was the worst form of it that she had seen.

If she couldn't trust her memory, then she couldn't trust anything. She looked around her, feeling lost as she wondered if what she was seeing and experiencing was even real. Having already decided that she had been swimming in lies for the vast majority of her entire life, she wasn't even sure if the definition of truth applied to her either.

Finally, she found herself drained of all energy and collapsed against him, and as she drifted between awareness and unconsciousness, she felt him adjust her head on his chest.

The last thing she heard before falling unconscious was his heartbeat, and it accompanied her as she slowly drifted away. However, it wasn't long before the sound of his heart was replaced by her father's cold, hard voice.

Shikamaru held her, tears streaming down his cheeks as she whimpered and cried in his arms.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey, guys. I apologize for the lack of updates over the past couple of days – it's been a busy week. I had a birthday pass by earlier this week, and my semester is starting up in a couple of days so I've been preparing for it. That, and my damn home WiFi decided that it was going to give me a VERY hard time for most of the past couple of days, which was when I had planned on posting this chapter. My connection was nonexistent, and therefore so were these chapters on my profile. I have to make a note to copy EVERYTHING to OneDrive after I write it…that way I'll be able to access/edit it on my phone and upload it that way if this ever happens again. (I have an AWESOME new Microsoft Lumia 640...I had never expected that I would actually be completely thrilled about switching to Windows from iOS, but I can definitely say that I am very proud to no longer be an iClone! Sorry, Apple...I'm not intending to look back. :P As a note, if anyone is looking for a new smartphone do yourself a favor and look at the Lumia. Seriously. VERY cheap for what it is, and wonderful.)

...Anyway. I'm becoming a little concerned about this piece, honestly – I'm afraid I might have bitten off a little more than I can chew. If anyone reading this has read any of my other stuff – I noticed that a couple of you have (I noticed a few readers who favorited and/or followed this that did the same with one or more of my others) – one of the first things you probably noticed is that most of my other pieces, the few that they are (I'm actually very new to writing fanfiction; I've been reading it for close to a decade but just started writing it this year), are much, much shorter and include very little, if any, active dialogue. Literally everything else that has been posted onto my profile on here is a one shot largely based around the _thoughts_ of the character(s) as opposed to actual conversational speech. The only exception is _Mission_. It has some dialogue in it, but it's not as long-lasting, not as much of a two-sided conversation, and it was still primarily concerning the character's thoughts…so honestly, in that way, it actually isn't that different. This is essentially first time I've actually included real physical conversation in a story, and this is also the first time that I've attempted a multiple-chapter as well as a multiple-perspective approach.

Yes…at first I was not expecting this to reach a length of _over_ _10,000 words_ with _nine chapters_ and still be unfinished, so I clearly underestimated it. This is a drastic change from what I wrote before, but I figured I was going to have to take this leap and reach beyond my comfort zone at some point. My first story ( _His Sister_ ) is maybe between 1,000 and 2,000 words and contains no dialogue whatsoever if I'm not mistaken…at least nothing like a conversation. Maybe Kankuro talked to himself once or twice, but that can hardly count as dialogue. AKA, much less complicated than this, and a good introduction to fanfiction for me. So, I reach my point – I've been writing fanfiction comfortably in that style for a few months now and it was time to try something different, but I got hit with some bricks. If anyone here is a more experienced fanfiction writer who has a better feel for dialogue than I do, PLEASE do not hesitate to give me some constructive criticism if you see something that could be improved. I'm not all that surprised that I'm hitting a bit of a wall with this one – I'm pretty new, like I said, and I am not used to writing stories with over 4,000 words, let alone 10. Thanks ahead of time, and I apologize if this is starting to become disappointing!

Anyway, I will now shut my trap and give you the chapter.

* * *

 **8**

* * *

Shikamaru found himself with an awful lot of explaining to do after Temari woke up.

He had planned to try to write his statement for the two girls' case while she was asleep, but every time he had tried to move her off of him she sank into greater distress. Eventually he gave up completely – he decided that Temari's getting rest was much more important than writing that statement. He had told Aiko that he would do it after she woke up.

That didn't go as planned either.

Naturally, Temari was completely confused and wanted answers next to immediately after regaining consciousness (Shikamaru was actually grateful for this, because that was something she normally would have done…her behavior was, for the first time over the past 2 weeks, typical). Shikamaru had no choice but to tell her what Aiko had really said on the phone that morning. He explained to her how he had noticed the change in her behavior close to immediately, and that when he saw that she was actually still in bed eight minutes prior to an important meeting he knew that the difference was significant enough to mean that there was a very real problem.

To his shock, Temari wasn't angry – the only thing she was slightly upset over was the fact that she was no longer able to give her witness statement for the case (her current condition and the attached circumstances seriously compromised the reliability of her statement), but her frustrations didn't last long. She was at least able to understand why that had to be decided – luckily the short nap had allowed her emotions and thinking to balance out a bit. She had even asked Aiko to tell her more about the criteria that she was going to be evaluated under, and to explain to her the nature of the condition that she believed she was afflicted with. Shikamaru finally had the chance to write his statement for the case when Aiko spent the next 45 minutes or so reading through the psychological manual with Temari.

Shikamaru had always marveled at how strong and resilient Temari was, but he had to note that she had _really_ outdone herself this time.

Also, he couldn't help but be surprised (and completely relieved) that she hadn't tried to murder him for lying to her and reporting her condition to their social worker.

In fact, her behavior exhibited quite the contrary. She remained close to him throughout the remainder of the day, even opting to reach for his hand while in public…something she never did. To his amusement, she had always told him that "public displays of affection" were "weird" and "lame" and "ridiculous". Remembering that Aiko had told him shortly after Temari had fallen asleep that she was likely going to try to cling to any support system she could find after what she had just learned, he said nothing and only returned the squeeze.

Honestly, even if Aiko hadn't made him aware of that, he still wouldn't have said anything – aside from understanding the severity of the ailment Aiko suspected (being a shinobi, he had been taught the realities of PTSD), he was silently enjoying the contact. She had even moved to rest her head on his shoulder while they sat outside to wait for a table to open up at the only small restaurant in town, but Shikamaru knew better than to assume that this was going to continue for much longer. She was struggling with what she had just discovered, and anyone would…it wasn't a surprise _at all_ that she was behaving differently.

The rest of their day went relatively smoothly. Aiko called twice to check and see how she was holding up, to which Shikamaru responded by telling her that she appeared to be fine – needy, as expected, but fine. The only moment that she had a bit of an episode was when she became upset over seeing the state of her inn room.

Shikamaru had forgotten that he had broken the door down upon entering the room that morning, and it was still largely a disaster from when Temari had somehow destroyed it the previous night (she couldn't recall how). She was staring at the door with a look of disbelief, and he spoke the second she turned towards him and opened her mouth to try to get a word in. "I know you can't stay in here," he told her. He recalled the symptoms of hypervigilance that Aiko had explained to him. There was no way in hell that Temari was going to be okay with sleeping in a room with a broken down door, and that wasn't difficult to understand…Most people wouldn't have been comfortable with that under normal circumstances.

"You can stay in my room with me," he told her, reaching into his pocket and extracting his room key. He knew that she would benefit from that anyways, and possibly even prefer it…she had been particularly needy over the course of the day and since she had told Aiko that her condition worsened significantly at night, he figured that it might even end up being necessary.

In other words, she was going to have a difficult time and he knew it.

He led her into his room and shut the door behind them. The clock on the wall read 8:00 PM, and he knew that they would both have to get to bed soon in order to make it to the station for Temari's evaluation for 10 the next morning (Aiko had deliberately set up the appointment for a little later this time, in case there was another incident).

But all things aside, he knew that neither of them would be getting much sleep that night.


	9. Chapter 9

**9**

* * *

Shikamaru had been correct when he had thought about the possibility of Temari having a tough night.

He looked at the clock. 3 AM.

Temari was clinging to him and had been for the past several hours. She had fallen asleep once a few hours before that on the spare mattress on the floor (she had refused to take his bed even though he tried to convince her multiple times), but getting to that point had been a real chore. She was relatively content for roughly an hour and a half after they had first laid down to go to sleep, but shortly after that she became very quiet and Shikamaru knew then that the inevitable rough patch was starting. Somehow he could just tell that it wasn't because she was falling asleep.

Ten minutes later, she was crying and had experienced some additional symptoms. To her dismay, she had thought she saw Rasa standing in the corner of the room, and it required Shikamaru to turn on the light for her to see that it was simply his vest hanging on a coat hanger, and not her father. After he got her to realize that it was indeed a hanging clothing garment and a coat rack and not a person (about ten minutes and two closet inspections later [she had insisted on checking the closets to make sure he hadn't hidden], at about 11 PM), she fell asleep, but not without Shikamaru watching her closely. Another ten minutes later, she woke up crying again from a nightmare, and that was when Shikamaru told her firmly to get into the bed _with_ him and that there was _no way_ she was arguing her way out of it this time.

She didn't say a word and immediately obliged. She had no objections; frankly, she had wanted it from the beginning. For some reason she just didn't want to say or admit it.

Arguing was one of her favorite pastimes, but this was not the time.

The bed was warm with him in it, and she felt much safer. He pulled her into a warm embrace and began to hum quietly while slowly rubbing her back and shoulders. For the first time in weeks she felt happiness bloom within her and butterflies hatched in her stomach. Whenever she felt anxiety flare up, she tensed, burying her head into his shoulder. Those were the times that he would tighten his arms around her and continue rubbing and humming, despite his periodic yawning.

She looked at the clock and knew quickly that Shikamaru definitely meant it whenever he told her how much she meant to him. It was far past midnight; they had had a very long day and he still hadn't allowed himself to sleep a wink. She knew he was tired, and yet it didn't seem to matter to him. At one point, Shikamaru would have been okay with spending his entire life sleeping; in fact, he would have rathered that it be his only care in the world. She smiled to herself upon realizing that she, the "most troublesome woman he had ever met", had ironically taken full priority over his beloved sleep. At one point she hadn't thought it would've been possible for him to care about anything else aside from sleep or clouds (she was fifteen when she met him, and back then she _hated his guts_ ), but granted, she hadn't thought that the events of the past two weeks were possible either.

Yes, she was being proven wrong time and again lately. Her past teenage self was really being proven wrong right now, too. She was lying in bed with Shikamaru – the "lazy slacker clown" that she used to hate – wrapped up in his arms, reveling in the warmth and comfort he gave her and actually, god forbid, relying on it to keep herself from losing it again.

She too looked at the clock. 3 AM.

Yes, she had been clinging to him for hours, but he was holding her too. She was thankful for it because she felt significantly more stable when she remained close to him. Something about him was just soothing and comforting, and she had felt that way about him for years. At least in this way, the posttraumatic stress hadn't _really_ had as much of an influence as it appeared to.

"…Shikamaru?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."


	10. Chapter 10

**10**

* * *

Temari had some slight difficulties getting herself up and moving the next morning. Shikamaru suspected that the exhaustion was beginning to really catch up with her as he watched her struggle to leave the sheets. He had been sleeping relatively well over the past couple of weeks, and one night of little sleep had rendered him nearly dead. He couldn't imagine what she must have been feeling like if only one night of bad rest was having these effects on him.

However, Shikamaru was silently relieved that the difficulties were due to exhaustion and not because of an episode similar to what he had helped pull her out of the previous morning. It was still unfortunate, those episodes being what caused the exhaustion in the first place, but he would still rather the trouble directly come from something other than the trauma.

He was brought back to reality when Temari finally dragged herself out of bed. Her hair was in a messy pile on top of her head, resembling a ragged haystack, and the bags under her eyes were dark. She just appeared…sluggish. It was a strange sight, as Temari had an uncanny ability to wake up and appear refreshed immediately nearly every morning…well, usually. He also remembered Sakura giving her _hell_ at one point because she also had a tendency to wake up with her hair perfect, which even he couldn't understand. He was indeed male, but he did have hair that reached down past his shoulders and so he understood (albeit silently) many of the hair-related problems that women complained about.

One of which happened to be waking up with a shrub on top of your head.

Temari had been the only person he knew with longer hair that didn't have this problem most of the time, but this morning was definitely…different. Bluntly, she looked like she had come rolling out of the slums. But at least she wasn't panicking and hiding in the corner like she was the previous morning.

After about a half hour of getting ready, Temari looked much less like a mess, even though the exhaustion was much more evident. At this point all she had on her mind was the evaluation at 10 AM. She was pretty sure of what the results were going to be, as was everyone else. Aiko had told her that the evaluation was simply a formality to allow for proper documentation…from what Temari was describing and the secret file that Baki had brought, there was not much of a legitimate question as to what was going on.

Shikamaru walked with her over to the station and sat in the waiting room while she went in for the testing. He busied himself on his cell phone as she answered the questions Aiko and the present psychologist asked her. About an hour later, they told her that it was as she thought – Temari was most certainly afflicted with posttraumatic stress disorder, and she was going to be communicating with allies from Sunagakure in order to set up regular sessions that would begin shortly after Temari went back home.

Temari didn't like this, even when Aiko assured her that her diagnosis and situation was going to remain completely confidential and that she was protected under several laws that had been active for decades. It didn't help as much as she had hoped it would, because Temari wasn't worried as much about confidentiality (while that was, of course, a concern) as she was her brothers' confidence in her abilities.

It was going to be necessary for Kankuro and Gaara to know about the situation, because they (Gaara particularly), were also high-ranking officials of the village and worked with Temari professionally as well as personally, no differently than Shikamaru did.

Temari's stomach churned. _What if Gaara loses faith and sees the diagnosis before he sees me…?_ This was something that terrified her more than she had thought. Frankly, she hadn't even given it _any_ thought. She hadn't even remembered that it would have to be disclosed to her brothers. Her mind was just so cluttered with the events of the past week, and she was still trying to fully wrap her head around what she had discovered about her father.

 _I shouldn't have come here…I shouldn't have come here at all._ She felt sick as she realized that she essentially was wishing that she had remained ignorant to that part of her past, and she shook her head and covered her eyes with her hand. Ignorance was never something that she was partial to… _This really is fucking me up._

She rose her gaze as Shikamaru walked into the room and sat down beside her. The relief she felt in his presence was comforting, but she still felt incredibly dulled down from thinking about revealing the situation to her brothers.

"Temari…"

She looked up. Shikamaru was looking over at her. She suddenly found herself too ashamed to keep eye contact and dropped her head again, even though it was with the one person she trusted more than anyone. He seemed to detect this, because she felt his hand come in contact with her chin and lift it so she would meet his gaze. However, she could barely make out his outline through the blur of tears in her eyes.

"You do not need to be ashamed of _anything_ ," he said quietly, wiping away a few of the tears with his thumb. "What happened to you wasn't anything you could've controlled…And not for nothing, if this was me going through this, I don't know what I would do. I know it's difficult for you to accept that you need help, but…" His voice trailed off as she tensed. "Tem, what you're going through isn't everyday. Please…just give yourself a break. Let your guard down for once…accept the support, alright?" She smiled briefly at the nickname. It seemed like a very natural way of shortening her full name, but the truth was she allowed it from only a total of four people that she knew, and two of them were her brothers (granted, only Kankuro used it, so she could get away with saying three and not four). The other two were Shikamaru and Sakura. Nicknames were a pretty big deal to Temari…they were signs of closeness between the people exchanging them, and it was incredibly difficult for someone to get close to Temari.

In a larger and more real sense, however, it was much more difficult for Temari to get close to someone.

Shikamaru squeezed her hand, and she tightly shut her eyes in response. He continued to speak, but she was mentally begging him to shut up. She had never met anyone in her life that could make her feel so vulnerable, and she didn't think that there was anything she hated more than feeling vulnerable. But simultaneously, his voice soothed her. "Every time I mention giving yourself a break or anything about this situation at all, you start to cry," he said softly. Her shoulders shuddered at his comment, causing him to tighten his grip on her hand. Damn him. _She_ was supposed to be the blunt one. "And then when you realize you're crying, it makes you more upset." She knew better than to deny that what he was saying was true, because at _that_ comment more tears rolled down her cheeks.

She had never been one for self-pity, but at that moment she found herself wondering why this had to happen to _her_ , of all people. She was having trouble dealing with the overpowering embarrassment that she was feeling over this wreck of emotions that she had become over the past couple of weeks. Shikamaru seemed to be dealing with it better than she was, which, in her opinion, was the absolute epitome of irony.

How it was even possible that someone with so little control over his own emotions was better at understanding this situation was far beyond her. She loved him – she was finally able to admit it to herself – but he was irritating her right now. She needed control over herself more than anything, and seeing him handle something so difficult for her with such ease was pissing her off to the point of no return. She was reaching the point of wanting desperately to punch him in the face.

She had definitely reached said point when he seemingly managed to read her mind. Again.

"Tem…" she looked up at him. His voice was still continuing to soothe her, despite her irritability. She wasn't sure if she wanted to slap him or smile, so she did nothing but stare at him. He continued to speak. "It's no secret that I'm an emotional wreck sometimes. But it means that I know how to deal with emotions when I see them." She rolled her eyes. She was _not_ in the mood for an emotional pep talk. She didn't even know what was getting into him…all this talk about emotions all of a sudden was bizarre, and it was beginning to freak her out. In eight years she had only heard him talk this much about emotions very few times…granted, she wasn't used to _anyone_ talking this much about that. She was raised in Suna, for crying out loud. The birds there talked more than the people, and there were very few birds in the desert.

"You need to acknowledge that you're human," he said gently. "You feel things. You get upset…things affect you, and regardless of what you might think, it's okay. You aren't a machine, Tem. You're a person…" She was really crying now. Being human was never something she had considered herself to be good at, after all.


	11. Chapter 11

**11**

* * *

The clock read 3:15AM, but Temari was completely awake. She had spent the night with Shikamaru again, even though he had reported the broken down door to the innkeeper and compensated him for it (the innkeeper had been enraged, and Temari had actually doubled over in laughter for the first time in weeks when he proceeded to throw his clipboard at Shikamaru's head and chase him out shouting). The door was fixed, but Temari was not, and she found that she wanted to stay with him again so badly that she wasn't nearly as bothered by the slight embarrassment that she felt. She had ignored the blush she felt creeping up her cheeks as she followed him back to his room quickly and quietly.

Normally Temari would have never admitted to wanting to stay with him, because it was essentially just as blunt as telling him to his face that she _needed_ him (he knew her far too well to not recognize it as such), but laying down beside him in the tiny inn bed was too comfortable to sacrifice for the sake of pride. She felt far too safe and far too much at home.

…Home.

That had essentially been the main focus of her thoughts for the past couple of hours. She had tried desperately to shake it so she could attempt to sleep, but it was just too much of a concern. She couldn't help but ask herself over and over how the hell she was going to be able to go home. She hated realizing that she actually wasn't sure if she would be capable of handling it or not…because she really wasn't sure. How she was going to continue to function in that same environment after learning what she did was not something that she could figure out. She racked her brain trying to think of a way in which it would go well, and she couldn't.

She shuddered against Shikamaru's chest. It had taken them a while to find a suitable position that allowed her to be close to him without causing one or more of his limbs to fall asleep. She was smaller than him, yes, but she weighed significantly more than she looked (he had immediately regretted telling her this when she decided that she was going to lay partially on top of him, because a second later she had rolled _completely_ on top of him while giving him hell over _never making comments about a woman's weight,_ and it ended up requiring him to explain to her that he was not calling her fat, because the weight came from the pounds and pounds of muscle that she was covered in…but he couldn't bring himself to complain, because at least this behavior belonged to a normal Temari). She buried her face into his shoulder and mumbled something indistinguishable. Shikamaru tightened his arms around her and moved his head closer, asking her to repeat herself. She simply shook her head quickly and pressed her face farther into him.

He sighed inaudibly and focused on her heartbeat, which he could feel through her back, and on stroking her hair. He had started doing that earlier that night as a response to a particularly nasty episode, and she had loved it. She hadn't told him, of course, but her actions said all – he had moved his hand away from her head after her breathing had slowed and she had calmed down, only to have it be brought back up promptly by Temari's hand moments later. She had even leaned into it, so she definitely didn't have to say a word to him about liking it. He had smirked, wondering why she even bothered with remaining silent about those things. He could read her like a book anyway – she might as well have been screaming.

Very little of what Temari told him was actually done so verbally – he just knew her so well that he understood roughly 95% of her physical language. She typically saved the larger and "more important" things for verbalization (there were also much more of those than there had been ever since they had bonded more thickly), but as far as Shikamaru was concerned, the little things that she refused to actually say to him said far more than what she actually spoke. After all, it was the little quirks that she had actually tried to hide more than anything else. Shikamaru didn't think it was coincidence that these were the things that had trouble actually saying.

He was convinced that it was only he and Kankuro who knew that she would mumble in her sleep whenever she was dreaming (they knew because whenever she mumbled she would always mention a dream the next morning), that she always put her hair up in a very exact order (left lower ponytail first, then upper right, followed by lower right and then finished by upper left), that she liked exactly a half teaspoon of honey in her tea, and other little things of that sort. He smiled as he thought of this, but as he thought of Kankuro it faded slightly as he remembered what he had done earlier that night.

He was positive that Temari was going to kill him this time. He had miraculously escaped the previous time with telling Aiko, but he wasn't sure if telling Kankuro had been as good of an idea. Well, he hadn't actually _told_ Kankuro anything…just that something had happened with his sister and that it would be ideal for him to meet them at the settlement so he could have a little…discussion…with them. Kankuro evidently recognized that it was serious, because he proceeded to tell Shikamaru very seriously and without questions that he would be there tomorrow afternoon (Shikamaru had come to know Kankuro pretty well, and one of the first things he had noticed about him was that he clearly loved Temari more than any other person in his life).

His heart rate quickened. He knew that telling Kankuro everything flat out would not have been the thing to do, so all he had done was tell him that he needed to speak with them in person…he tried focusing on that to make himself feel a little calmer. It was true; if he was the one with the PTSD in this situation and Temari had called someone like Choji or another close friend or relative of his to tell them, he would be enraged, and rightfully so. What had given him the idea to do this was the conversation he'd had with Temari for over an hour and a half earlier that day about how she didn't know how she was going to tell her brothers, and that she didn't even know how she was going to _begin_ telling them.

It was absolutely her right to be able to explain this situation to them herself, and he had no intention of intruding on that, but something had told him after speaking with her for _that_ long about how to begin to unveil the situation that it was probably going to be necessary to give her a bit of a push to just get the ball rolling. He didn't know exactly how Temari wanted them to learn of this (he wasn't even sure if she even knew), but he did know that whatever that way of finding out was, it didn't involve them finding out by accident, or by finding out if or when (hopefully never…) she had one of the more difficult episodes when she got back home. Even if she didn't really know how she wanted them to find out, he didn't need to be told that she didn't want it involving either of those things.

Granted, he was filled with dread even at the thought of her having one of the more intense flashbacks without someone around that knew what to expect from them. Even if you knew but didn't necessarily know how to deal with it, it still would be better than not knowing at all.

 _Yes_ , Shikamaru thought as he contemplated the situation further. _I did the right thing._

He knew for a fact that he had when he realized that if Temari suffered from an episode while at home with no one knowing (while thinking on it further he was pretty sure that Temari wouldn't be keen on disclosing the situation immediately, and that meant that she probably wouldn't, shinobi protocol or not), Kankuro or Gaara's first instinct would likely be to call emergency support, and then it wouldn't be just them that knew about the PTSD. _It would be the entire damn village. And that would destroy her credibility,_ Shikamaru thought. _And then she really would be done for…_

He looked down at the woman lying beside him, who was now asleep. Luckily his heightened heart rate hadn't disturbed her.

 _Yeah… She would be done for._

"And I'm not about to let that happen to you," he murmured nearly inaudibly into the top of her head. At this, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**12**

* * *

Shikamaru made it a point the next morning to catch Temari with the news of her brother's trip bright and early. He knew that her reaction would be bad, but not nearly as bad as it would be if Kankuro showed up without her expecting it. Even if they were more pleasant, Temari did not like surprises.

And as he had expected, she was not particularly happy about this one.

" _Shikamaru – **Fucking** – Nara – What – In – The – Holy – FUCK – __**DID YOU CALL MY BROTHER FOR**_ ** _?_** "

Her eyes were slits, similar to those of an extremely pissed off cat, and her voice was venomous and seething. He had nearly forgotten about how loud she could be…nearly. She bellowed over everything else that was discernable, and it felt as if his senses were overloading and like the room was shaking as the sound bounced off the walls and invaded his mind. Next thing he knew he was flying through the air and slammed into the wall, his face throbbing. For a moment he found himself trying to remember where he even was and what had happened – she had gotten him _good_ that time.

Yup. As expected. She punched him, classic Temari style.

He stood painstakingly, but not without her continuing to erupt.

" **How** ** _could_** **you** – how – **does that make** ** _any_** **sense** – I have _never_ had someone go behind my back like this, ever – _ **never**_ – I have never known someone that –"

She continued on. Shikamaru felt an egg beginning to form on his head where he had come in very blunt contact with the wall (which luckily was not damaged – if it had been, the innkeeper would have been very likely to fly into a white hot rage quite similar to what Temari was in right now, and Shikamaru was really not in the mood for _two_ of them).

Granted, he wasn't even a fan of this one.

It took a while for Temari to blow off her steam. After she did, she became surprisingly quiet, undoubtedly thinking about what she was going to say to Kankuro when he got there.

Shikamaru moved to sit down on the bed beside her, which is where she had settled after her rant. "I didn't give him specifics, you know. The only reason why I called him in the first place was because of what you were saying to me yesterday. _You talked_ for over an hour – _an hour_ – about not knowing how you were supposed to be expected to disclose something like this…you didn't know how you were even going to begin, so I figured I'd take that part off of the load for you..." She stared at him venomously, her eyes flashing like daggers. He could nearly feel her gaze penetrating his flesh (Temari had facial expressions that could cause Orochimaru to drop dead on the spot and start another shinobi war…simultaneously). He sighed. He had to be blunt with her. "Alright, Temari, don't try to deny it. I know you well. I knew that if I didn't request someone here myself for you to disclose this to, you wouldn't have at all. And you're incredibly smart, Temari, not to mention that you know Suna's policies and protocols inside and out. By no means do I need to tell you what could happen if something were to go haywire after you go home and this is not disclosed."

Temari shut her eyes. She hated to admit it, but he was right. Very right. Right about her being likely to end up not even disclosing it at all as well as about the issues with Suna, _and_ about knowing her well…possibly too well. She ran her hand over her face.

"Best case scenario and it's still a disaster." "Right." She groaned.

"I really do need to do this, don't I?"

"Yeah, Tem…you do."

He really was right. As much as she hated that truth, it was unavoidable. The worst possible scenario involved the case itself getting out, and having the entire nation find out the truth about its fourth kazekage. And that wouldn't go particularly well, considering that Gaara is the fifth _and_ his son. And that she, the sufferer of the entire thing to begin with, was nearly just as politically active as Gaara was.

Yes, she would never be viewed as capable again, or even trustworthy. The council would have a serious issue with this if it got out.

Anger overcame her and she realized that this could ruin her. It boiled up into her chest and she felt it begin to spill over.

"All you need to do is tell Kankuro what happened, Tem…we have the file." Temari was clenching her fists. "Aiko can sit in if you'd rather that, but the bottom line is Kankuro needs to know. No matter what, it needs to be disclosed. It's far too much of a risk to just bury it and ignore it, even though I'm sure you really want to –"

"You are **DAMN FUCKING RIGHT I WANT TO!** " She screamed.

"Temari…please." He felt slightly ashamed when he realized that he was somewhat annoyed by her stubbornness in this moment. As far as he was concerned, telling Kankuro about the past happenings was more than worth the difficulties, considering it would prevent something significantly more terrible from happening to her, her village, _and_ her family.

…Her family.

He looked back at Temari, who, although calmer now, was trembling slightly from the burst of anger she had just exhibited. She was holding her head in her hand, clearly troubled beyond his full understanding. He realized upon thinking about her and her family that she probably wanted to protect Kankuro from the truth. He remembered her telling him once about how much Rasa had meant to him when they were children, and that she still suspected that he revered him even now.

He was also fully aware of how completely protective Temari was of Kankuro. She would do anything for him and Gaara – aside from him, they were essentially all she had.

 _Aw,_ _man…_

He wasn't even sure of what to say in this moment, so all he did was put his hand on her shoulder gently and tell her to remember what she had always said about ignorance. "You always told me that it's better to struggle with the truth than remain blissful in ignorance, right?" She nodded. Her voice was low, somewhat monotone, and barely audible. "It's just that it becomes a bit different when the concept is actually applied. I don't know how he's going to handle this, Shikamaru. I really don't."

Shikamaru was thoughtful for a moment. "Temari…have I ever told you what I think when I see Kankuro interact with you?" She was puzzled and looked at him quizzically. "I've never seen anyone love someone that much."

She was still confused, so he elaborated.

"Your father is gone, Temari. He's been dead for years, but he was never really _there_ even when he was alive. You and Kankuro lived with Baki, and never saw much of your father unless he required your skills. You guys had a relationship with him that essentially was composed of business transactions... There was no familial bonding at play, nothing like that at all. But you and Kankuro, Tem…I've never seen two people closer in my life. I've never seen him look at anyone in the same way that he looks at you, and vice versa. Granted, it's completely obvious that you're one of the few people he'd do anything for even outside of shinobi duty."

She looked at the floor and clenched her teeth.

"Temari, I'm saying that I don't think Kankuro is going to be upset specifically over the truth about your father. He's going to be upset, but only because of how it affected _you_. You are his family and his best friend. You are going to take priority over your father...and _he's not going to blame you_."

Temari was still silent, but realized with a strange sense of happiness and relief that he was right about this as well. She found that she was okay with admitting it this time.


	13. Chapter 13

I think I have moved past the point of feeling like I've bitten off more than I can chew - I've got this rolling nicely again. Thanks everyone for continued support - I appreciate it from all of you! I will respond to ALL reviews ASAP.

I decided that I couldn't not involve Kankuro in this. One of my favorite aspects of this show is the relationship between Temari and Kankuro. Although this relationship is largely not shown on screen or in the manga, I see them as having a very close bond because of the conditions in which they were raised, as well as being so close in age (their official profiles actually do put them at about 9 months apart, as I had listed here...I don't know how it would be possible to not be close with a sibling so close in age to you when you grow up in the kind of environment). If this were to really happen to Temari I don't doubt that Kankuro would have been instrumental in her recovery. So of course I had to include him...it wouldn't have made sense not to.

Anywhere, here you are! Chapter 13.

* * *

 **13**

* * *

Kankuro met Shikamaru at roughly noon the next day. He had come very close to panicking after he had hung up the phone. He couldn't think of what it could be that was causing problems for his sister, but he couldn't stop thinking about what Shikamaru had said.

"Kankuro…it's Shikamaru. I think it might be a good idea for you to get here as soon as possible…there's something going on with Temari and you need to know."

Kankuro paused. "…Wait a minute, _what?"_

He found himself panic-stricken in that moment. Temari was his best friend. He had years' worth of memories of sticking together, playing made-up games during the little time that they had to themselves, nearly killing each other in defense of pointless arguments, and talking late into the night over anything they could think of. Typical sibling stuff, really.

…Actually, _not_ really. The situation that they had been raised in forced them to become closer than a typical situation would have called for. Since before he could remember they had lived with Baki, and he had cared for them rather than their father. Kankuro had wanted his father's attention so badly as a child that it nearly worried him sick, and Temari was the one person that had actually regularly succeeded in cheering him up. Kankuro, while appearing cocky and confident much of the time, was actually significantly less secure and aware than he liked to make himself out to be.

Temari was the only one that really knew, but to his surprise, she had kept his secret and had continued to. At the thought, he smiled.

At least he had her.

 _What could it possibly be that's wrong with her…?_

Temari was the most supportive person in his life as well as the strongest. Not even Baki surpassed her in emotional strength…she was the one person in his life that he had absolute confidence in. His sister could do anything, and he had known so since they were children. There was a legitimate fear he felt when he thought of something taking her down…if whatever this _something_ that Shikamaru had referred to was strong enough to affect Temari so severely that he actually called him asking for his presence, then it was strong enough to take _anyone_ down…

He slung his bag higher up over his shoulder and told the uptight lone guard at the settlement's tiny gate that he was meeting family. The guard looked him up and down in careful scrutiny, and allowed him to pass after a couple of moments of awkward silence. After passing through the gate he saw that Shikamaru hadn't been kidding when he had told him that the place was _tiny_. Looking around, he observed that the entire settlement was simply a street with several buildings and a few houses slightly beyond them. It almost looked like the settlement had originated from a pack of travelers that had settled down in that spot years ago after deciding to not move any farther.

Kankuro looked up and saw Shikamaru's figure come into view. The two took roughly fifteen seconds to reach each other, but Kankuro looked around expectantly, waiting for Temari to join them. When she didn't, he raised his eyebrow in question. Luckily, Shikamaru seemed to understand.

"She's…uh…well…"

"Pissed?"

"Yeah. You can definitely say that."

Kankuro laughed. He really hadn't liked Shikamaru when he first met him eight years ago but really took a liking to him after getting to know him better. He'd quite possibly known of his sister's feelings for him even before she did, and he couldn't help but be glad that Shikamaru had taken a liking to her as well. _He's perfect for her_ , he thought. _He kind of has a calming effect on her…and sometimes she needs it_.

He nearly leapt out of his skin upon hearing Temari storm up beside him.

This appeared to be one of those times that she needed it.

Yes, she was _definitely_ pissed. Her eyes were full of fire and her arms were tightly crossed across her chest, but something about her seemed…off. Even in her current state of rage she appeared slightly detached, and Temari had been always been a creature of remarkable clarity…not today, though. She looked…lost.

He looked over to Shikamaru, who had a look of knowing in his eyes and nodded slightly. "Tem…do you want me to go with you or do you want to do this alone?" She responded by glaring at him, and Shikamaru immediately put his hands up. "Alright, well…I'll be here then." He clapped Kankuro on the shoulder after dodging a slap to the back of the head from Temari, and gestured for Kankuro to follow her as she stormed off.

Kankuro watched her in confusion, shocked that she hadn't even waited for him to catch up with her as she usually did. She simply continued onward in a straight bullet-like line, moving like a bat out of hell without even looking back to see if he was actually following her at all.

 _What the hell is going on here, and who is that and what have they done with my sister?_


	14. Chapter 14

**14**

* * *

Temari and Shikamaru had both had a tough couple of weeks, but Kankuro's name was just added to that list.

"Temari, spill it." He hadn't used her full name in private in quite a long time – it had been long enough that it felt strange rolling off of his tongue. Likewise, it sounded strange for Temari to hear it coming from him. She couldn't remember the last time that Kankuro had actually called her "Temari" when not in a formal setting…he used her full name while working, but that was simply because it wasn't appropriate to use nicknames during that time.

Then maybe this actually _was_ appropriate and not so strange after all, because it certainly felt like he was working right now.

He sighed and ran his hand over his face. She had refused to look at him or even say a word for the half hour that they had been sitting in the tiny inn room that Temari had led him to (or, rather, where he had followed her). He was incredibly frustrated with her, but his nervousness and anxiety had long exceeded his frustration. His heart rate had been elevated since he had received the phone call from Shikamaru the day before, and it was only getting worse with each minute that she remained sitting still as a statue, staring blankly at the wall in front of her.

He lost it at that moment.

"Jesus fucking Christ, WHAT IS IT? I knew yesterday that something bad was at play here, but I hadn't expected _this_! Temari, you haven't said a word since I've gotten here, you're completely avoiding this situation, whatever the _fuck_ it is, and you're scaring me. I thought you were the strong one here, Tem, so please, don't make me have to force this out of you…"

Granted, he didn't even know how he would go about doing such a thing, but that didn't matter, because he didn't intend to. He had to say _something_ to get a reaction out of her. That was the only way he could think of to start wearing her down.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes and let out a laugh laced with attitude.

Bingo.

" _'Spill it'? 'I thought you were the strong one here'_? _This_ is what you have to say to me?"

Kankuro was shocked by the tone of her voice. Something was _definitely_ wrong. Normally if she became angry with him she would've flown into a rage rooted in…rage. She wouldn't have sounded like she was angry simply because she was trying not to cry…which was the case right now. She was too tough to be this seriously affected by something he simply fashioned to get a reaction out of her. He knew that from experience. The last time he had tried to say something to get her to react, she saw through it immediately and slapped him upside the head before laughing at him. They knew each other far too well to not be able to tell when one was simply messing with the other.

He couldn't even detect what was going on when he looked at her, which was incredibly rare. All he could see was extreme anxiety and fear swimming in her eyes. Her response was clearly her way of trying to deflect because whatever it was she had to tell him, she really did _not_ want to.

He decided to ignore what she said. "You're being stubborn again, Tem." She scoffed again, but this time there was even more hurt in the sound she made. Pain. Whatever this was, Kankuro didn't know how to deal with it and clearly she didn't either.

He was confused when he noticed that she was trembling slightly, and _beyond_ confused when a tear slid down her cheek. _She's crying…oh my god._

"K-Kankuro…" "What? Tem, what is it?" He was desperate now. His heart rate was skyrocketing.

"I need you to promise me that what I'm about to tell you won't change the way you see me…please." Her entire body was shaking now and tears streamed down her face. She was terrified. She knew that logically this promise couldn't genuinely be made. She was fully aware of that, yet she wanted to ask him anyway. She needed to hear him say one last time that nothing was going to change, even if it did.

 _He's not going to believe me_ , she thought.

With this more tears rolled down her cheeks and she took a deep breath. Kankuro had put his arm around her and she cried harder thinking that it could possibly be the last time that he ever did. Putting embarrassment aside, she leaned into him, breathing in his scent and sobbing harder than before.

He was dumbstruck. He could hardly believe that this was _Temari_ talking to him. "Of course it won't," he whispered, and she hiccupped loudly. He rubbed her arm comfortingly. "This is bad, isn't it? Real bad…" She nodded, saying nothing.

She breathed in again after a moment. "Yeah…"

At this, she told him what she had seen in the settlement leader's home upon arriving here. She explained to him how the visions started, as well as what she saw in them. She deliberately didn't look at his face for fear of what she would see there. She told him how they got worse with every day, and how she had actually missed a meeting because she had fallen asleep so late because of the nightmares and visions that were plaguing her. She told him how Shikamaru had called their social worker, and how Baki had shown up after he had heard about the two children, and then finally told him about the file… _and_ what was in it. She told him everything.

"I…I have PTSD, Kankuro," she choked out in between sobs. "It surfaced after I saw those poor kids…I couldn't control this…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…just don't hate me, please, I know you loved our father so much…"

Kankuro had tears streaming down his cheeks. He was filled with overwhelming sadness and anger, and utter confusion. He had absolutely no idea how Temari could have possibly suspected that he would blame her for such a thing.

But most of all, he was glad that their scumbag father was dead.

"I could never hate you… _never,"_ he whispered. He clung to her and rubbed her back soothingly, while reassuring her that he would never abandon her over this. Really, he had no idea of what to say, and he was ashamed because he was certain that what he _could_ manage to find to say was nowhere near enough.

 _How am I supposed to let her know that it's not her fault and that I don't blame her?_

He told her that he didn't blame her and that it wasn't her fault, but he had a feeling that she didn't believe him. He knew her well, and he knew that all she was thinking of was her belief that she had destroyed the image he had of their father, whom he had, admittedly, loved dearly. "Temari…" she winced at the sound of her name, which broke his heart in half again. "I know that you believe that this is your fault, and that you've destroyed the little connection I have left with our father." She cried harder at this. "I hope it helps you to know that upon hearing this, I wish the bastard had died earlier. I wish I had never felt the way I did about him, because he didn't deserve it. He hurt the person I love more than anyone else in this world very badly, and for that, well, I hope he burns in hell." With this he hugged her harder than he ever had and smiled slightly when he felt her lips curve upward into his shirt.

 _She never listens to anything unless it involves something someone else is feeling._

He smiled. He did know very well how to get her to react to something, but he knew even more about how to get her to listen.


	15. Chapter 15

Hey guys! This one is shorter than usual, but I liked it this way and I hope you will too. It kind of makes a better point when it's short, I think. Enjoy!

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 **15**

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Kankuro looked down at his sleeping sister. Her head was resting in his lap, and her breathing had finally slowed after the chaos that had just ensued. Her tearstained face was glowing in the light of the setting sun, her sandy blonde hair framing it. He hadn't entirely realized how much she really resembled their mother until now. He reached down, brushing a stray lock of hair away from her eyes – he was careful to not wake her. Shikamaru had told him that she had barely gotten enough sleep to get her through the most minimal of activities.

He turned to look out the window at the front of the inn room, taking care to not disturb Temari. The space, while small, was bathed in a golden hue that was causing him to feel oddly peaceful for what he had just heard. He looked back down at Temari, who continued to lie still.

She appeared oddly peaceful as well.

Kankuro heard the door click, and he turned back around. Shikamaru was standing in the doorway of the inn room, and he nodded towards Temari with a subtle smile on his face. His gaze didn't shift any as he moved towards the bed and sat down besides Kankuro, casting a shadow over another part of the room. He reached over and rubbed Temari's back for a moment before sighing and running his hand over his face.

"How long has she been out?" Shikamaru's voice was low, barely audible, and Kankuro had to strain to hear it. It was like the steady drone of distant cicadas that could be heard through the mountains surrounding the settlement in the evenings.

"Probably about twenty or thirty minutes." Kankuro also lowered his voice to a gruff whisper. He didn't want to wake his sister. The bags underneath her eyes were beyond defined, and he had noticed that her speech was slurred when he had arrived.

There was an awkward silence that lasted about thirty seconds. Kankuro was desperate for something to say. He really had come to like Shikamaru, and after the tons of things – _beyond incredible_ things – that he had done for his sister over the past couple of days, he really felt terrible for not being able to find anything to say.

"So…um…"

"It's okay, man," Shikamaru said. "You and Temari are close and you're protective of her...she's your sister. I'm not taking the awkwardness personally –"

"Oh, god, no – it's not that at all. I mean, we _are_ close and I _am_ protective of her…but I just, you know…I really appreciate everything you've been doing for her, that's all..."

Shikamaru smiled lightly. "There's no need to thank me."

Kankuro paused. He was thankful when Shikamaru kept talking after a moment. "Look, I've known for a long time that…" His voice lowered and his drawl trailed away. He either couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence, or he didn't know how.

Kankuro smiled. He knew what Shikamaru was trying to say.

Kankuro looked back up at him and smirked. "And I've known for a long time that I'm glad she's with you."

At this, the two exhaled and slipped back into the safety of awkwardness.

Upon looking back at Temari again, Shikamaru knew better than to doubt that at some point he was going to be made Kankuro's brother-in-law. There was no way of telling when, but he was sure that he had known so for a long time – the issue of _when_ wasn't concerning him much. He knew that from the point of view of any guy with a sister, there always was a sort of stigma associated with the person involved with her…the whole _you hurt my sister and you die_ thing that he was pretty sure everyone knew about.

Because of this, Shikamaru knew that whether Kankuro liked him or not he was always going to hate him. Somewhat. So he figured that all things considered, he was doing a pretty good job relating with him.


	16. Chapter 16

Hey everyone – I hadn't been writing chapters for a few days because I'm actually working on some original, non-fanfiction stuff at the moment…just some stuff I've been coming up with on my own terms. So I've been switching between gears. This stuff really is a great writing exercise…it does a good job improving my skills!

Anyway, chapter 16! I'm working on 17 as well and it should be up soon, but for now, here's this one. Enjoy.

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 **16**

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Much to Shikamaru and Kankuro's relief, Temari managed to continue to sleep after Kankuro moved her off his lap.

Kankuro had decided that he would wait to begin the journey back to Sunagakure until after Temari woke up. He also wanted to speak with Baki and the social worker (they had said she was named Aiko) about this situation, because he admittedly had some confusions as to how exactly this was going to be documented and what exactly he had to do. After all, he had never had to deal with something like this and honestly he had never expected to. All he knew was he wanted to ensure that whatever it was he had to do, he did it _correctly._ He didn't want this to come back to bite any of them.

Shikamaru stayed with Temari when he made his way across the narrow dirt road to reach the station. Prior to leaving he had called Baki, who luckily had remained at the settlement in order to clear up some of the same concerns that Kankuro had. Baki had told him that it was a convenient time to make his way over to the station at that time, because Aiko was busy going over the procedures with him as they spoke.

Much to his surprise, he saw that Gaara was also present after he was escorted to one of the station's back rooms.

At first his instinct told him that Temari was going to be angry, but Baki held up his hand before Kankuro could speak up, silencing him. "I was told by Aiko yesterday that protocol requires that someone other than the victim explains the situation to the highest authority present if said victim is in a fragile state…and right now, Temari is. It has to do with the situation being documented as accurately as possible." At this, Kankuro nodded. This seemed somewhat cruel, but it made sense.

Granted, the whole situation seemed somewhat cruel.

"Somewhat" was mild.

Gaara appeared paler than usual, and Kankuro knew that it must have been because he had viewed the file that Temari had mentioned. He knew that he would have to as well – one thing he did know was that all people who worked with Temari closely had to sign a document stating that they were aware of the circumstances in which she was involved, and he definitely qualified as one of those individuals. Gaara did by default, being the Kazekage, and Shikamaru worked as her partner, so he qualified as well.

Kankuro moved to sit down next to Gaara, who nodded at him. He couldn't bring himself to even smile and say hello, because these weren't exactly circumstances that called for such casual greetings. The only thing he could manage to do was nod back and ask if he could view the file and sign the document – he wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Aiko came over to him and introduced herself. "You must be Kankuro. I've heard much about you… Undoubtedly you have questions about what the procedures are – everyone has – so you may be happy to hear that the document which you are required to sign is the only piece of paperwork that will be necessary for this."

Kankuro was relieved, but it also felt…odd. A situation this complex – this _awful_ – was being reduced to but a single piece of paperwork. Honestly, it seemed disproportionate. The severity and seriousness of this situation had him sure that he was going to be seated at a desk with Gaara, Shikamaru, and Baki for hours.

But, no – a single piece of paper laid face up on the battered table beside Temari's file, already marked by Shikamaru, Baki, Temari and Gaara's signatures and the dates during which they had been signed. He wasn't sure whether to be relieved or confused. He decided to push his emotions out of the way and simply nod. He swallowed heavily for reasons he was not sure of, and reached over to open the file after Aiko nodded for him to do so.

Tears stung the back of his eyes again, threatening to escape again and again as he read each sentence and viewed each picture. The sight was too horrible to comprehend. He felt mostly numb aside from the defined urges of anger that rose up into his chest. _Bastard_ , he thought when his father came to mind. _Bastard, bastard, bastard…How could I have ever been so loyal to someone like you?_

It felt as if time was frozen during his viewing of Temari's file, so he wasn't sure how long it had taken him to get through it all. He was mentally exhausted by the time he was reading through the piece of paperwork that he had to sign, and he wound up being so numb and detached that he actually had to read through it twice in order to make sure that he had actually absorbed everything it had said.

 _Maybe the reason for so little paperwork is because this is one of the most difficult things to handle that I have ever seen…_

Kankuro may have only been 22, but this had marked his tenth year of work as a shinobi of Sunagakure. Despite his young age, he had seen a lot.

Temari, though…she had seen much more.

Even Gaara appeared shaken by what was in that file, and Gaara was by far one of the strongest men he knew. He watched Gaara as he closed his eyes and sighed. "I…I know that what I was dealt in my early life was not fair by any means. Most people can see that now, and they definitely could see the effects it had on me in my earlier days…when I was in the darkness. But this…this is something that even I am having trouble comprehending."

Kankuro shut his eyes. _Even Gaara can't handle it._

He knew then that it was definitely best for Temari to not have to deal with explaining this again.

Relief washed through him as he signed and dated the paperwork. Even though it didn't mean that this situation was "closed" in the least – he knew Temari was going to be dealing with this for a while – it was a step, and he hadn't needed anyone to tell him that these were circumstances that had to be dealt with step-by-step.


End file.
